day 48- headed home!

flights are delayed, please pray for fast flights and fast customs so that can make my flight from new york to atlanta!

day 45

on the kindle so this will be short but today was my last day in the slums, cant believe it has come and gone!! thank you for all the prayers!

day 40

I now know how Noah felt when God floaded the earth, India is flooding! It has been a downpour all day long with no releif... i didnt even know it could rain this much.

Yesterday and today were wonderful with the women. I just love being in the sewing classes and spending time with them! tomorrow is my last day with them in the sewing classes since we dont have them on thursday or friday! I cant believe it. Im going to be teaching the bible lesson tomorrow and its been on my mind all week. there are so many things i want to tell them about how loved they are but theres no way I can fit that all into one lesson. Prayers for that please! But ive loved just sitting with them this week and spending time with them.

Today was a hard day in a few ways, we had two things come up that were just reality checks for me, reminding me that these women do not live in the wonderful world of our care but at the end of the day return home to harsh realities. One of the women I have gotten closest too was beaten last night. She was married to her uncle at age 9, she doesnt even remember her own wedding. she refuses to be with her husband and everytime her parents send her to be with him she runs away or screams the whole time. Last night she was fighting with her mother about going when her father came home drunk and beat her. She tried to run away but today after classes were all over told us that she has no place to stay. It is not part of indian culture to allow other people to stay in your home and no one will take her in because the police will go after them, including us. It absolutely broke my heart leaving her there today knowing that she will have to go back home and there is nothing i can do.
We also have our out of state contacts here helping us do some work including an evaluation of the community and what else we could be helping with here. During all of this a woman that we know came to us, with her 3 week old baby and casually told us that she was going to sell it. She needs the money and she could make $30 off of selling her baby to a person that comes into the slums regularly and was described as simply the "baby buyer". This blew my mind that a woman with a history in prostitution would willingly sell her baby into that same, if not worse, environment. Hearing mackey talk about everything she is doing in mumbai and seeing what goes on here, i now know that the love of money is truly the root of all kinds of evil.

My mom wrote me a letter for everyday that I am gone, which is a lot of letters! But she included this quote in one of them and it stuck with me, especially today. "The most profane word we can use is "hopeless". When you say a situation or a person is hopeless you are slamming the door in the face of God." -Kathy Troccoli. Today some things seemed hopeless but i have to remember but things are not hopeless because I serve the God of the universe and he is the God that saves and the God that redeems.
"But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you "
Isaiah 43:1-4

That being said, we still had a wonderful time with the women and I was able to video a few of them introducing themselves for you to see!
Meet Konkowa:

This is Durga and she just finished her first sari blouse! The video was an accident but now you can see her face and her new blouse!

I hope that works because they are some amazing women and I want to put some faces (and voices) to the names you have been reading! I have a few others but i will wait to post them when i know they work! Happy tuesday to everyone in the US, my last tuesday here is over!

Day 38

I wrote this blog earlier today and couldn't post it because the Internet went out, naturally. But since then I have been spending time with our contact in Mumbai and now everything I wrote earlier seems so unimportant. This will be scattered, I can already tell because I am still so shaken but maybe I can add more later if people have questions about what I am about to write. Macky, the woman that Rahab's has working in Mumbai reminds me a lot of of my Grandmama in both stature and personality. And after hearing her stories I know that only she could do the work she is doing in Mumbai. Everyday she goes into a working brothel and spends time with the women who are not busy with customers. Most of them she says came around age 12 but she cannot be sure because none of them know how to write their own names let alone know their own birthdays. She tutors them and tells them bible stories except for when men come and some of the women leave to work and then come back. She says a man will walk into the brothel and pick a woman and take her into a closet with only a curtain covering the door and soon after will walk back out and the woman will then come out and hand the $1.50 she just made to the madam or pimp at the door. One of mackey's friends just got pregnant from work and is about to have her second abortion in 6 months. The goal Is to remove the women from the brothel if possible but in order to do so the women must want to leave and ask Mackey for help, because if she starts stealing women the pimps will first off come after then and kill the women and secondly Mackey will never get access to these women again. But since she appears to be simply tutoring them, the pimps let her be around the women. The stories she told me made my skin crawl and made us both cry. These girls are children that are sold from Bangladesh and Nepal and even one they have been taken out of chains they stay at the brothel out of fear and humiliation. Seeing the women we deal with on our side and how much hearing their stories hurts me, i cannot possibly imagine watching the women that i love in a brothel. Plus she said I couldnt come with her into the brothels because men always want white young girls, which is why mackey is the only woman that could do what shes doing. She said that she hopes I leave this trip changed forever and carrying the burden of these women that will never lift. To continue fighting for god's daughters for the rest of your life. After seeing what I've seen and hearing what I've heard, theres no way I possibly could leave unchanged.

Now here's my seemingly unimportent blog compared to everything else:







Indian food will be the death of me:


Ruppa, our sweet friend with the burn on her leg is healing well!:


Oh India:


If these preschoolers arent the cutest thing youve ever seen, you're crazy:



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Cant believe that a week from today Ill be on my way home! There are so many things left to do and relationships i want to grow and people i want to see before its over!

This weekend was wonderful... Friday i didnt feel great all day but i wanted to be out because i have such a limited time left and today Im finally starting to feel normal again. Yay! But friday i helped in the preschool again and taught two nutrition classes... for women and for the children. We have also started a new bag making class for the women and they love it! They are so focused on making these bags and its wonderful to see. Rahab's will buy the bags that they make from them and so its also a source of income for the women. After the bag making class we had some down time so I went out into some of the slums that we dont usually go into because we dont know all the women that live there. I met three wonderful women that spoke english... they are all muslim and 2 are in school still and one is a mother of three. Their names are meenza, sefura and caroliza. They were so funny and sweet and before i knew it I had been sitting and talking with them for an hour. During the call to worship all the women cover their heads and meenza didnt, I asked her why and she said "because it messes up my hair". Haha typical 16 year old even in India. I told them i would come back on monday to see them... so excited to see where those friendships go.

After we were all done in the slums we went to panjim for an all night worship service... i wasnt sure if i was going to be able to even stay awake for that long but it was wonderful. The lord redeemed so much of my image of Indian men through it because there were so many wonderful indian men there that are actively reaching out and helping others in their community. it was so nice to see that they arent all greasy and abusive! The music was led by a band of 4 indian guys in their early 20s... they were just like any other group of american boys with guitars. Some things are the same everywhere! A woman sitting next to me continued to put her hand on my leg or hold my hand and if you know me you know my love language is touch so I felt so incredibly loved by her that night even though I didnt know who she was! I got to talk to her after and her name is Geeta, she has her own school and shelter for indian children and has opened her home up to women who need a place to stay. She has the biggest heart in the world and was so encouraging. She has also chosen the single life and for an indian woman... thats a big deal.

Yesterday we just stayed in panjim and took the new team of girls around to the market and such because they wanted to shop shop shop. It was fun but im learning that i can only go to shops and look at indian magnets so many times! Ive just been here for so long I dont feel like a tourist anymore so when we do tourist-y things like that i feel so silly. But also, if you know me... shopping is one of my greatest talents so by no means did i just sit back and watch. Im going to come back to america and try to bargin with everyone out of habit now.

This morning we helped out with sunday school for the children, they are so precious. I took a video of a few of the songs we sing and will post them later. they are too cute for words. The Lord this weekend has redeemed so many things that I struggled with here and its so refreshing and im thankful that I will get to end on this note. My time left here seems so short but a week is still a long time and im excited to spend one more week with my friends here... Prayers for quality time with the women my last week here.

day 35

Not much new to share here... ive been sick for the past few days and they wouldnt let me go out but today i was allowed to do a half day and it was so wonderful! The lord really gave me a renewed love for the children in the preschool, because to be honest i usually avoid it when i can. I love focusing on the women because that why i came and thats where my heart is but there is this whole other side of Rahab's that is working in the preschool doing preventative work and this morning I got to spend a little time there since we didnt have a morning sewing class.

Nutrition class was another story... i have little tolerance at this point for violence especially from the young boys because i see exactly what happens when they grow up and take that violence out on their wives and sisters. The children in nutrition are so sweet and SO deprived of many things and the fact that they cant help but beat up on each other both makes me mad and breaks my heart... because you know that they are being beaten on and burned and starved at home. Prayers for patience their and just renewed love so that i can show them the love that they are clearly not getting!

Katie left today, so our small team is getting even smaller! Last time we took Breanna and Kate to the airport it took all of my willpower to keep myself from running and jumping on the plane with them. I just wanted to be in America! but this time i really was so content just dropping katie off and staying in India. Its about time i got used to this place!

After we got back from the airport I went to go see Leila, my friend on the beach. She blows me away everyday that i visit her! She is the most joyful person i have ever met and she has nothing to be joyful about most the time, being completely honest. If any of us were transported from our comfortable american life to selling things on the beach for a living, not knowing where our next meal would come from and never having money to spare with a husband that has beaten you in the past when you were pregnant even- and who isnt around half the time... We would not be joyful! but everyday, without fail, leila tells me with a big smile on her face about her day... how her husband is gone and she has to walk back alone in the dark, many days she has no business and does not know how she will feed her children. But she is so trusting and so joyful it amazes me. I have nothing else to say because theres no way to explain her joy except that is comes totally from the Lord... because the world doesnt provide that kind of joy! Especially her world. When i left her today on the beach to walk back to the house I just started crying... i couldnt help it. And thats when i realized the truth of what ive been reading about in "dangerous surrender"... when you surrender to the Lords will and ask him to open up your heart so that you can love on these people with His love... he will open up your heart and you will be able to love on his people in an incredibly new way. But you will also hurt for them in an astonishing way... my heart breaks for Leila because i want her life to be better for her! I want her to have food to eat and a secure home and a loving husband. I feel like im rambling here and pulling a lot from this book im reading that no one else has reference to... but i encourage everyone to read it (Dangerous surrender by Kay Warren)! I honestly have to give myself a pep talk every time i open it (ive only read the first chapter and am scared to keep reading) because it will challenge you to really look at how you are caring for other people around the world and it will show you how much you arent but how much we should be! Giving to other people and caring about other people, hurting people, isnt comfortable, Im starting to realize.

Speaking of uncomfortable...For those of you that have been asking... here is a picture of our toilet! Its called a squatty... pretty self explanatory. how do you flush it you may ask? that little faucet with the bucket in the corner... you fill it up and dump it down. Welcome to India!

Of course now that ive said i had nothing new to share... i have seemed to ramble on for quite a while. Ill leave on that note, thank you for all the encouragement... as always.

day 32 plus pictures

I cant believe Ive been here for over 4 weeks! This weekend the Lord gave me such a wonderful day of rest on Saturday- everyone went to go to panji for the day and I stayed back and had the room all to myself which was a welcome break. Its hard when you are constantly together and never have any time alone to breathe. I got to lay around and journal and take a shower and do laundry (which consists of a bucket full of water and some soap). I kinda laugh to myself when I think about getting off the plane in Atlanta and seeing my family while wearing clothes that I have hand washed for 6 weeks and worn for 36 hours straight. They might get a little taste of what India smells like when they hug me haha- but as much as I think about it, theres no other way to wash my clothes here, so its got to do.

On Sunday we went into the slums again to help with church for the children and then to have lunch in town. All the sweet kids were so precious singing the songs and listening to the bible story. Afterwards we hand out food to them which is always fun too because they get so excited. We stayed afterwards and talked to Judith for a long time, she works in the preschool and translates for us. She was telling us about the housing problems they are having in Baina since they tore down many houses and the government isn’t providing new housing for many of those people. It breaks my heart to think about people that have next to nothing getting everything that they do have taken away. There are some things that I just don’t understand.

After we left the slums we did some shopping for food, I found special K cereal which was such a treat. Its hard to find anything American here and its usually more expensive but anything that tastes like home is precious to me. Then we went to HQ, a new hotel in Vasco da Gama to have lunch- a little weekend treat. We were taken such good care of, the manager and the chef really found favor in us for some reason and we were given half of our meal free plus some icecream on top. The Lord blows me away with how much he loves and cares for me, his daughter. Its just cool to see how he provides these little treats to help get me through the week.

Yesterday (Monday) we had a great first sewing class and then stephanie and I cleaned up the flat because the roof has started leaking and as many women called it “a flood” came through under the door. It wasn’t that dramatic, but there was a lot of water. While we were in sewing class we heard people gathered outside so we all looked out the window and a baby goat had been killed in the road and everyone was gathered around trying to figure out who had killed it. Then out of nowhere this woman just walked up, grabbed the goat, put it in the trash and walked away. Everyone stood there stunned then eventually left once they saw the excitement was gone. Haha I just love how bold that woman was, not only to break through the crowd but mostly to pick up a dead goat. Some things you will truly only see in India. Including the picture above of the cows in the road, even in big cities the cows just roam and cars swerve around them as they sit there chewing on trash. Oh india.

On the bus on Sunday it started pouring (naturally, since its monsoon season here) and we watched as a woman got off the bus, standing in the rain she opened her husbands umbrella and let him take it while she then fished around for her own umbrella and of course got soaked. Everyday I watch as men take seats from women on the bus, or as women carry a baby on their hip and huge baskets on their heads walking down the road while their husbands walk empty handed next to them. It’s the complete opposite to the way women are treated in the US. I really struggle with the selfishness I see in men here, not to mention the violence they have towards their wives and women in general. Especially the fact that they think it is their right to treat women this way, because women are just property. A few weeks ago a boy, very intentionally, grabbed my butt while we were in the slums and out of instinct I turned around and slapped him while yelling at him never to touch me again (which is what they tell us to do) but what blows my mind is that God calls us to love that boy and all the men here and pray for them despite what we see them doing around us and despite how they treat us and the women we love. Even more so, the Lord watches us doing things he finds equally hateful and yet still blesses me in unbelievable ways. I don’t think I could ever wrap my mind around the love that God has for all of us.

So many people have blessed me this week and encouraged me by asking for and reading this blog... thank you all for your love and support- Im being 100% honest when I say that i could not make it through this trip without all the encouragement Im receiving from home! Ok done talking, here are some pictures!

Sweet sweet sununda from our first sewing class and her precious daughter:

My friend Kalawate with her 3 children, she lives in a small shack with two other women and their children... she is amazing!

Sewing class on very old but very cool sewing machines:
more sewing class:
Food time! all the children waiting for us to hand out food:
is this real life?! cant believe i get to see this everyday:
typical traffic jam:
the mosque right next to our flat in the slums:
This song, "Give me faith" by Elevation Worship has been such an encouragement this week, thought Id share:

I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You’re shaping my life

All I am, I surrender

Give me faith to trust what you say
That you’re good and your love is great
I’m broken inside, I give you my life

I may be weak

But your Spirit’s strong in me

My flesh may fail
My God you never will

day 27

Dancing:

Sweet konkoa:

Kalawatte:

Here are some pictures from our friday afternoon with the women, we made them american food and they tried some then tried to secretly throw it away haha- much what i would would do if it wouldnt offend everyone serving me. They brought all of us little plastic hair clips, so sweet. I am learning so much about generosity from a group of women that have nothing.

Another good note, the girl with the bad burn inflicted by her mother is healing somewhat. the burn is smaller now and the infection less severe. We went to go visit her mother and she herself was covered in burns as well, probably from her husband. The mother explained that the girl was asking for 20 rupees (50 cents) for some food to take for lunch and she got mad and burned her severely. We are not allowed to take the girl to the hospital but we are bringing antibiotics to her house as much as we can.

Ive been reading a book called "dangerous surrender", just started it- about crossing our lines of comfort and allowing our hearts to break for all the suffering in our world. we can become so content with our normal lives and find ways to shut out everything going on in the world outside of our neat lives. Praying to allow the lord to break my heart for what breaks his is dangerous and opens you up to a lot of hurt- but it also opens our eyes and hearts to loving others on a new level. Learning about this bit by bit!

"If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your Heart" - Oswald Chambers

Thank you for all the encouragement and love, happy its the weekend!

Day 25

Kalawatte, durga, and prema from our first sewing class:

our Indian meal:
burka time!

this is Ruksana, she's 16 years old and in our first sewing class:
First off, please be praying for everyone hurt and killed in the Mumbai bombings, we were at dinner last night in a friends home when it came on the news but didnt know how big it was until later when i was able to read the news.

Despite that, dinner last night at our translator's home was just about as indian as you can get. we had tea and visited before the cooking was even started then 2 hours later sat down on the floor and ate with our hand (the right one, of course) until our noses were running and i thought i was going to die. It wasnt the spice that got me but the amount of food we were force fed, its rude to say no to anything you are offered in India so we ate until our plates were empty then she would refill them again. I had to give myself a pep talk midway through the meal because i didnt think i was going to make it.

On tuesday and yesterday the sewing classes went well, i feel like i am growing in relationship with these women more and more everyday. The first sewing class in the morning I know all of them well and the second sewing class I know most of them well and have especially gotten to know a woman named Maria but there are still 2 or 3 that i struggle getting close to. we also have formed some cool relationships with other women in town at the stores we go to and places we buy food from. Yesterday we went and visited some of our friends at a clothing store and tried on Burkas, so much hotter than i ever imagined! and you can still tell that i am extremely white underneath all that black fabric so it wouldnt do much good in fooling everyone, we thought that maybe if we wore a burka that we wouldnt get cheated as much in the market because they wouldnt see that we were american- but that idea went out the window once i had the burka on for 2 minutes.

I have learned so much about freedom through these women and if i can just let go of my plan for my life then the lord can reveal a much bigger and better plan that he's had for me all along. slowly learning everyday to let go more and more and live in his freedom much kamla, a woman that i have gotten close to does. she has such joy and life regardless of what is going on around her.

"For freedom in Christ set us free, No longer be entangled in a yoke of Bondage" Galatians 5:1

Day 22

Calawatte at sewing class:

Katie and I on the bus in the cage: The bus from the rear view mirror:
Church in the slums:

Day 22:

Two amazing days, I am learning so much every second that I am here. Yesterday (Sunday) night we went to church in the slums, it was literally breathtaking. There were probably about 20 women in saris and Indian night gowns worshiping in the basement of the flat we have in the slums. One guitar, all songs sung in Hindi but luckily the work “hallelujah” is the same in all languages. I was absolutely speechless as I stood behind this tiny Indian woman as she raised her hands during the songs, as her hands and face had been burned by acid (a common way women are terrorized, both in brothels and not). It appeared as someone had thrown acid in her face and she tried to block it with her hands and almost everything was burned badly. Then came time for the offering and all of these desperately poor women walked to the front and gave money. How is it that in America where even the poorest have tons more than these people here, we cannot let go of even a little of all that we have? Yet these people with nothing to give still find something to give. They read psalm 138 and it was so encouraging, especially hearing these women read it:

I will praise you, LORD, with all my heart;

May all the kings of the earth praise you, LORD,

before the “gods” I will sing your praise.
I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your unfailing love and your faithfulness,
for you have so exalted your solemn decree
that it surpasses your fame.
When I called, you answered me;
you made me bold.

May all the kings of the earth praise you, LORD,

when they hear what you have decreed.
May they sing of the ways of the LORD,
for the glory of the LORD is great.

Though the LORD is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly;
though lofty, he sees them from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life.
You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes;
with your right hand you save me.
The LORD will vindicate me;
your love, LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands

This morning when we got on the bus, crowded of course, the bus conductor pushed Katie and I into the cage that the driver stays in up front- which was actually a huge blessing and nice change because we are separated from the crowds and even get to sit! The only downside was I got a front row view at the road and got to see exactly how close we get to running into oncoming traffic haha. But we survived! I will post a picture that we took of everyone squished into the back of the bus, it does not do it justice, there is no way I could explain how crowded it is- and a picture of Katie and I in the cage. Today the Lord really blessed my time with the women in both the morning and afternoon classes, it has been so fun everyday seeing these relationships grow. One woman in the first sewing class, Indra has a son who has been involved in a court case for 6 years. She has had to put her other children in an orphanage in order to pay the lawyer bills and now the lawyer says that if she can pay one last payment of 50,000 rupees (about $1000) then it will all be over. This is an outrageous amount for Indra, one that she will never be able to afford. Prayers for this please! The second sewing class went really well too, Kamla came and I haven’t seen her in about a week- and I got to visit her house later tonight, which was great. The nutrition class afterwards went well with the women, but we had a child show up with a horrible burn down the back of her leg that was badly infected. After some questioning and requests to take her to the hospital, she said we couldn’t take her to the hospital because her mom would get mad, and it was her mom that hurt her in the first place. Her mom had gotten mad, taken a large knife and put it on the stove then held it to her leg, burning the skin entirely off her calf. If this infection does not kill her or cause her to lose her leg, then she will be scarred for life. I honestly could never understand why a mother would treat a child that way, but these women are battered themselves by their husbands and families and in some cases it leads to them hurting their children I assume. After that, we went on house visits and I got to go to Kamla and Durga’s homes, which were deeper into the slums than I have ever gone before. Durga speaks little English and has a baby, when we got to her house (which is half the size of my room at home, and holds 6 people) her baby was suspended from the ceiling in a makeshift crib made out of her sari. It is the only way they can make a place for their babies to sleep and was like a little hammock, I wish I could have taken a picture of it. Kamla’s home was even smaller and she lived there with her husband, everyone told me it was a love marriage, the first I have heard of since ive been here. Meaning she wasn’t arranged to marry her cousin or uncle in a child marriage. Kamla is from near Bangalore and moved here with her husband after they were married in a courthouse because her family wouldn’t give them a large wedding. Kamla speaks English well and it is easy visiting with her because of it, we didn’t even need a translator which is a nice change. On our way out of Vasco for the evening we stopped in a store to pick up some Indian clothes some of the girls had ordered and 3 women in Burkas came in and it was the first time I had found the Burka truly beautiful. These women were clearly upperclass and had beautiful black burkas rimmed in gold and dark eyes, they wore gloves and socks with their sandals, only revealing their eyes. Recently I have seen a lot more women in burkas then I did when I first got here, and because some women wear them to sewing class I have learned that they actually wear a full outfit underneath it and it is more of an overcoat that they remove when inside closed doors. I cant imagine how hot they are.

That is all for today, about to go make some dinner and finally take a shower! It was a hot one today. Learning so much about how the Lord protects us, his sheep:

“My sheetp recognize my voice. I know them and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Theif. No one could ever get them away from him.” John 10:26-30

Day 21

Sangamma and I after art class

The girls with lelia and our "bendi", the indian dots that you wear on your forehead... usually meaning you are married haha.

The lord really answered my prayers for renewal this weekend. Yesterday we took the bus to Panji and on the way back the Lord showed me a beautiful side of India that I haven’t seen yet. I got to see the ocean and the beautiful islands off the coast and women harvesting rice out in the fields and the small boats being rowed by Indian fishermen right up next to huge carrier boats- a mixture of the traditional India and the progressive India. Sometimes I forget that I am in India and then I look around and realize that I am halfway across the world in an extremely cool place unlike anything I have ever experienced in the US. India never registered as part of Asia to me but it really is. Especially northern India is very asian, the people and the culture are both similar to what we would consider traditional asia: china and japan. Southern India where I am is more what you see as India in movies like slumdog millionaire. Seeing the women harvesting rice looked like an image from china and just reminded me that the Lord has sent me to an incredibly cool place and there is so much more than the poverty and dirt that I see everyday. I still do not know where I will be this week and I will probably visit both slums throughout the week but I hope the mainly be in Bina, the slum where the women’s classes are located. I have just started to develop real relationships with them I feel like and I want to continue to grow and be in community with these women.

The lord really taught me this weekend that His love for me is so big that there is no way I could ever fully show these women how much he loves them- and there is no way I can show these women anything about his love alone. If I am not completely relying on the Lord everyday when I am in the slums I will wear myself out and go nowhere. This trip is not about me and I cannot do it alone! “Remain in me and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me…apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to my father’s glory that you bear much fruit…I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete!” John 15: 4-11 He is teaching me so much about joy and that true joy only comes from Him. Most of all, he wants us to have joy! But he knows that the best kind of joy comes from being in him.

Ok, lecture over. I always feel so cheesy writing these, but its what im learning and I want to share it. Thank you for all the encouragement and prayers… still no internet but im definitely learning to cope with that. Thank you for the continued support!

day 19

Its friday! Yesterday we had 2 team members leave and its been an overall great week but I think its finally catching up to me. the newness has worn off and Im getting a little homesick... which is only natural I assume. Not having the internet makes this even harder but I got to skype with my mom today which was great. Im excited about having this weekend to just relax and take a break from everything, and hopefully start the week off strong on monday. I cant believe Im almost halfway through my time here, the weeks fly by but the days can get long at times. Sometimes im ready to go home and sometimes I cant believe how much time has passed.

prayer requests for this week:
- that my relationship with durga and sangamma continues to grow
- that our team can function smoothly with only 3 of us left
- for working internet, as always
- renewed energy for the upcoming week

prayer request

I still feel silly asking for prayers over this but the internet problems are making communication very difficult and while living across the world, communication is really encouraging and not being able to contact my family is hard so if you could please pray for better internet that would make a world of difference!

day 16

Today was a great day! Yesterday for the fourth of July we celebrated with watermelon, mashed potatoes and fireworks! Ive never shot off huge fireworks until last night and it was so cool to shoot off fireworks on the beach of the Arabian Sea. Once in a lifetime experience for sure. Earlier in the day we did house visits and one of the families we visited had a son that worked on a cruise line. They were so proud to have a son with a job and showed us every picture of him from his adventures. It was fun to be in india on the 4th of July looking at pictures of their son in NYC. All of his pictures from America were either in front of limos or in front of Wal-mart haha. That is what people know about America: we have big cars and big stores. Yesterday we also handed out the hygiene packs and taught the women what their period was and why we have it. They were all so giggly because they don’t ever talk about it! When we handed out the hygiene packs with sanitary items in it they wanted to wrap them in newspaper to take them home because they were embarrassed. I got one picture of the women holding their hygiene packs but I had to beg for them to be in a picture with them! I have gotten to know two more women well, Durga and Kamla, the two women in these pictures. Durga is so sweet and yesterday wanted to hold my hand during our nutrition class. It means so much to me when the women open up and allow you to touch them and be near to them. Durga invited me to visit her house on Friday and im very excited about that! One of the muslim leaders came up to us on the way out of a house yesterday and told us never to come back, the mosque next to the slums has heavy influences on some families and we are not always considered welcome by their leaders- but the community is open and there is no way for them to ban us from being there, I just pray they will not hassle the families we have been visiting in the slum. Everyday I learn more about the women we are visiting, and many of them are still currently CSW (commercial sex workers) or daughters of CSWs. Its hard to know when they do not openly talk about it still because of the stigma associated with being a CSW or sex slave. I passed a woman in the slums today who had one eye that had been gauged out: a common punishment for trafficked girls that try to run away.

Today I helped with 2 more sewing classes and children’s nutrition. We handed out milk in the children’s nutrition class which was fun because everyday they come with their cups but we only have enough milk to give it out twice a week. We played with them after and they always want to take pictures. The token phrase is “Me teacher, one photo, me teacher, me teacher, one photo!” and then you take it and they say “Show teacher, show teacher” and then you do and its back to “Me teacher, one photo, one photo teacher!”. Its never ending but its fun because rarely do they ever get to see themselves and we try to print out the pictures so that the children will have a picture of themselves, because it is likely to be their only one.

During the sewing class we hear loud screaming and crying outside and naturally all the women ran to the window to see what was going on. Someone in a family living nearby had died and all the women were outside the house wailing and mourning their loss. I had never seen so much sadness before and I remembered that for this family that doesn’t know the Lord, there is no hope in death. It broke my heart to think that this person could encounter the God that I know as loving and full of grace in the setting of judgment and not know Him. It made me remember how quick life is in the grand scheme of iternity and the reality is, I serve a God that is righteous and Just above all else and because He is, we cannot be with Him unless our sin has been wiped away and paid for. Someone has to pay for it, and He doesn’t want us to pay for it because He loves us so much- but unless we come to Him with that and ask for Him to forgive us and allow His son to pay our debt- then we cannot be with Him. He is too righteous and Just to be in the presence of sin. I forget that so often because I am caught up in the way that He loves me and provides for me and gives me Joy- but its great truth for those of us who know Him and really sad truth for the family today that did not.

On a lighter note, the women had a great sewing class, the later class in the day is a class full of new women and its exciting to see us be able to have 8 more women come off the streets and learn a new trade that could change their life!

Last note, I spent some time in the Indian hospital today with a woman and we started talking about her diabetes. Shout out to Macy Whitener, we got to talk about how I had a friend with diabetes and she was horrified when someone explained what a diabetes pump was and that a machine would be on your body! They do everything manually here. But it was interesting to see what their hospitals are like, and to say the least- if I were in medical trouble I would not trust this hospital to save me. Their emergency room consisted of a room with the sign “trauma and casualty” and all their patient rooms were a bed and a plastic chair. No air conditioning, no machines, and no medical equipment of any kind. Not even a band-aid. Medical care in India leaves much to be desired!

Here are some pictures from today and yesterday!

The best of america haha:

day 13

what a great weekend! one of the girls on our team has a dad that works for marriot so we decided to take a team vacation and go to panji and stay at the marriot for one night. It felt like i was actually on vacation in india for 20 hours. What was crazy to me was that we saw no women! not at the pool, not in the lobby, the only place we saw a woman was while she was waiting for her husband to finish getting a massage at the spa! ha, how different india is. we hit a small bump in the road when we ran out of money midway through the trip and had to use what little personal money one girl brought along. we went to dinner at the hotel saturday night and the lord just told me that he would provide our meal (as i sat there looking at the super expensive prices) and we ate and paid like normal, and i would be lying if i said i wasnt dissapointed that some indian family didnt bust through the walls and offer to pay for our dinner. then this morning we woke up and went to breakfast to find out it was twice the cost of our dinner the night before, but we decided we would just get it, and hoard food and not eat for the rest of the day. or week for that matter haha. so we did, and paid as usual again. Then as we checked out, the man at the front desk said that he would like to pay for our breakfast at the hotel and handed us a pile of cash. literally. haha the lord is so good to us! i couldnt believe it at that point, the lord just wanted me to be patient so he could take care of the most expensive meal i will probably ever eat in India. and now i have enough money to last through the week!
"Therefore i tell you, do not be anxious about anything: what you will eat or what you will wear" Luke 12:22

my computer started working tonight so i could skype my family which was a huge blessing! Im scared to turn it off because i dont think the internet will work for me again if i do... but i kind of have to- so i will just continue to pray for working internet in the future!

this week i am traveling back to the first slum and working primarily with the women. we are handing out hygiene kits tomorrow which is exciting because rahab's can only afford to do it once a month, so im excited to be there for that! we have two girls leaving our team on thursday so please pray for a smooth transition as we go from having a 6 woman team to a 4 woman team.

in closing, here are some facts i have learned about India:
1. rubbing your nose in public is considered a very sexual flirtatious action
2. many women are married to their cousins are uncles before the age of 12
3. a loaf of bread sells for 50 cents
4. a woman sells for $1.50 a visit in a typical indian brothel
5. for a few extra rupees a man can pay to not have to use a condom, which is only even an issue in the few cities where it is illegal to have sex with a prostitute without a condom. anywhere else in india, there is no extra charge.
6. the policemen in india are serviced for free at the brothels, and now we know why they are never shut down even where they are illegal.
7 positive note: a class full of women just graduated from our stiching class and are now certified to get jobs as seamstresses anywhere in india to earn a living!

pictures!

Still internet problems here... so please pray for that. but here are some pictures I was able to post!

Day 10

Today the preschool was hard again today. As if it was in question, I now know I do not want to be a preschool teacher. I am more frustrated with the administration than the children. I have gotten to know one of the little girls named ankita, she has an obvious learning disability and does not do well in class which is hard for me to rest with because it is already hard enough for women to get an education in india without a learning disability! One of the teachers said that ankita has a learning problem and will never learn which just made me more mad. In my quiet time with the Lord during lunch, He kept reveling the idea of how He wants us to be both Bold and Prudent: “The path of life leads upwards for the prudent” Proverbs 16:24, “Since we have such hope, we are very bold” 2 Corinthians 3:12. Then during house visits, it was amazing- boldness with the people we were visiting constantly lead to the presence of the lord. The first house we went to was the house I visited the day before, with the boy with the broken arm- they asked us to come back, they even requested the “girl with the dimples” come haha! We visited them for awhile and I asked saresh to ask again if we could pray for them at the risk of being rude. Before he even translated the mother said we could pray for them! The next house we visited one of the girls on our team asked if they had any questions about Jesus- which was so bold! In my head I thought “that is not the way we go about this, and this is not going to go over well”. Well I was wrong, they asked us to pray for them and pray for healing for their family and wanted to hear all about Jesus. They asked to be anointed with oil, which was really cool for me because I have been reading all about that for the past few days. At the third house we visited, the biggest strongest Indian man I had ever seen walked out as we walked in and all I could think about was “I hope he does not beat his wife” and sure enough the woman we visited in the house had a battered face. She asked for us to pray for her and we did, then she said she felt the holy spirit calling her to pray more and to pray for healing of her legs which she couldn’t move. We did and suddenly she collapsed and convulsed on the floor- it was like nothing I had ever seen before and for a minute I even doubted that this could be real. Afterwards she could move her legs and said she felt like a weight had been lifted from her and she wanted to learn more about Jesus. Then another woman walked into her house saying that the Lord had told her to come to this house and be prayed over. So we prayed for her too and all I could think about was how the woman of India were just crying out for the Lord! The hindu gods were not satisfying or healing the people in this slum and they want more. It was a very cool day to say the least.

Day 9

Today the preschool was really hard for me again. I felt worn out all day, maybe from lack of food, but I just didn’t have the energy to teach the children or deal with the teachers sitting around. The boys hit so much in class and it creates so much anger in me because everyday I work with women who are beaten by their husbands or family or pimps and then in preschool the boys already push the girls around (which is typical for that age anywhere in the world I guess) but here I know what those same actions can look like when these kids grow up. Its nice to think though that we can make a difference here and maybe some of these children wont grow up and abuse other people. Things got better after lunch, we went to a man’s house named Saresh who lives in the slums and tutored children there. It is so much nicer because the kids want to be there and behave while you are helping them. One little boy I tutor is named Arul and he and his 2 sisters have horribly crippled legs. His sister has learned to stand but he goes everywhere by scooting on his butt. It is amazing to me that his sisters were not killed at birth because many many healthy Indian girls are killed because they are girls. But to be a girl and to be crippled is more than just a death wish. After tutoring we hand out food to them and their families and then go on house visits. We first visited the house of a priest from the local hindu temple. The husband was not there but the wife had asked us to come. She said something was wrong with her son because he was not doing well in school and only wanted to paint all day. She went on and on about how he had a mental problem and they had taken him to all the temples and prayed to all the hindu gods for them to make him smarter. She said her husband had given up on him and she was the only one who cared anymore. In india sons are a prized possession and this boy was their only son so for him to not do well in school was a huge disappointment. Their daughter, on the other hand, was extremely smart but the mother never mentioned her. Daughters are only a burden. We asked if we could pray for them and she said yes, she said she believes in Jesus because she believes in all the Gods (some people share this view in India). Saresh translated for us and shared the gospel and prayed for the family and afterwards the woman asked if we could get her a bible. We moved onto our second house visit which was a strictly hindu family. Two of the little girls attended tuition and the one boy had fallen off a bridge the day before and broken his arm and was in a lot of pain. He had an ace bandage wrapped around it, that’s all they did for his snapped arm at the hospital. We asked if we could pray for them and she said no, because they are hindu if we prayed to Jesus in her house then bad things would happen. So we talked with them for awhile and then left. It was cool to spend time with women, married and not, and even though we have no idea what their stories are just supporting them and being in community with them can go a long way. After we road the bus back home I went to go visit Sunita, a woman like Leila who sells things on the beach. She has a similar story; she is a very tiny woman, looks almost 12. she has a 3 boys which is a huge blessing in India and she is a believer. Her husband beats her badly and drinks too much but has no job and depends on her to make all the money and take care of his children while he spends all the money on alcohol and then beats her. Her story is not as positive as Leila because her husband continues to beat her but we also pray for protection from her husbands hand. It is amazing to see these women who are battered and abused but still have such amazing faith.

Day 8

Still no internet, but i found a working computer to post from! here is news from day 8:

Today I moved from the slum I was working in first, to the other slum which is located on the other side of Vasco, the big city we live by. We worked in the preschool all day today which will not normally happen but they had teacher training in the afternoon so we stayed for that rather than going to do house visits. This school is bigger than the other preschool I have been to and its obvious that they need our help in order to keep it running but I still struggle with being here. The teachers do not do much because we are there to help out and teach, they just sit around basically. And therefore doing all the work for them while they do nothing while knowing that in 6 weeks we will leave is not a godly way of volunteering here in my mind because we are only setting them up to fail when we leave. I will see how the week goes, it was only the first day so it’s a little early to jump to conclusions. Today we were also fasting from food which was way harder than I expected. I have fasted before but this time I was so hungry all day I had a hard time thinking of anything else. It got easier as the day went on though. It just made me realize how much the Lord wants us to be hungry for him and hungry to spend time with him. He has so much to offer and many times we are satisfied by picking up crumbs off the floor and calling it a meal rather than asking the Father for the feast He desires for us. We experience a crumb of Him and say it is enough and do not pursue His presence further, or we find a crumb of a job or a relationship or even of joy and call it a meal all the while He has so much more for us! After work we road the bus back to where we live (I will call it “home” because they do not want us broadcasting the part of the city we are living in, just because this blog is open, etc) I went to go visit Leila, the sweetest woman you will ever meet. I don’t remember if I already told you her story- but her mother had already had 3 girls and was pregnant with Leila when her husband died. Therefore she was desperate for a boy. When she had Leila and heard she was a girl she tried to strangle her minutes after Leila was born. The nurses took her away to protect her but her whole upbringing she was abused and neglected. She never went to school and was just passed around from family to family. She was married to her cousin who drank too much and beat her. She sells things on the beach to tourists and locals and learned English and Russian simply by interacting with people on the beach. She had 2 girls and everytime she would have a girl her husband would beat her, he beat her when she was pregnant also and she has experienced at least one miscarriage- there is no protection for women here. When she was pregnant with her third child she prayed desperately for a boy because she was being shunned by her community and family for having two girls. 3 days before birthing her third child her husband came to her shop and took all of her things and money and told her never to return to his house. He left her alone in the city 9 months pregnant. The Lord sent her one customer who bought enough to pay for a bus home, she ran to make the last bus home and returned home safely only to be beaten badly until she gave birth: to a boy named Robbie. Since then she has had one more daughter and she says that she has never loved anything more than her girls because she knows how hard it is to be a girl in India. She is still with her husband and he is still not a believer but he has not beaten her in a few years. We pray daily for protection from her husbands hand.

back!

we are done with our week of fasting as of this morning! it was wonderful to see all the emails that are still sitting in my inbox and i cant wait to read them. we are encountering some internet problems here which makes me thankful for my kindle but communication is not easy. i feel silly even asking for prayers over such a small thing but when you are across the world internet is a big thing! i journalled constantly this week and am working on updating the blog as soon as the internet returns!